I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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