i think my mom watched the whole time
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
