good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
