STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
