it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
