I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
