Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
