mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
