Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
