she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
