:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
