Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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