Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
