I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
