The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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