Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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