And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize