I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
