Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
