So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Randomize
