she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
