if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
high people should be assigned attendants
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
