ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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