need another drink. this is the easiest way
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
