mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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