ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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