I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
