So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
should my penis look like a turkey
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Found your dick twin last night
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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