bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
