your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
porn star boner night. come get it.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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