Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
