Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
