Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
