Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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