I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
