You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm like, not good at living.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
