Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
