It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
