Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
