I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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