Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
