So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
