Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
