1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Randomize
