I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
