Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
