I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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