i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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