Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
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