drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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