I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
