You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
