I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
