Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize