we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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