no. you can't hotbox the world.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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