have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
