Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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