I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize