Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
